What is co-parenting? It is when two parents work together following a divorce or separation to raise their child or children. Divorce can take a big toll on both the former spouses and the children and amidst all the mixed feelings and anger, exes can forget that they still have parenting to do, no matter the age of their children. Remember, as much as the relationship may end, parenting never stops. How well the parents handle the divorce will definitely reflect on how the children grow. As such, here are a few tips for co-parenting after a divorce.
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Talk to your children about the divorce
As hard as it may be, it is important to keep your children in the loop concerning the divorce. You can choose to get advice through divorce mediation in NY on how best to deal with talking to children about the entire process. Children see a lot before the divorce happens, but giving them the closure they deserve is one way of helping them cope with your divorce. Be honest with them and let them know why it is that you decided to separate. However, while doing this, do not try and make the other party look like they are the bad ones. Try and get a decent way to address the issue without insulting your ex.
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Create a co-parenting plan
Depending on the number of children you have, both parents should sit down, set their differences aside and come up with a collective plan on how to raise the children. Some of the factors to put into consideration are when each parent will get to spend with the children, how the bills will be sorted, where the kids will go to school and so on. While doing this, parents should be child-centered in that the interests of your children are the main priority.
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Be Flexible
Yes, co-parenting is not easy, but it is doable. After coming up with a plan, you also need to be very flexible since some changes in life may affect how you will be co-parenting. For example, if you had decided that a child will always be with their mother during the weekends and there comes a weekend that mom is not around, you should be ready to make exceptions and cooperate to find solutions.
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Avoid taking sides
Dealing with change is quite hard, and if not well dealt with, it can cause more harm. Your children are bound to feel the gap left behind, and will from one time to the other question your decisions. It is normal for your children to pick sides, but you need to know how to maintain your cool. Never at any point talk ill about the other parent but instead, always assure your children that you and your former spouse love them equally and will support them at all times.
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Take time to heal
The parents, as well as their children, need to be allowed some time to heal. Regularly you will have to deal with rants from your children, but, understand it is part of the healing process. Do not be too hard on them and neither should you beat yourself up. If need be, seek help from a psychologist who will help you come up with an amicable divorce healing plan.
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